Posted by alex
on January 21, 2004
It’s amazing that there are still coders out there who have never heard of diff and patch. I’m helping out at a website, and I was asked to install a few “hacks” into the bulletin board software.
After unpacking the archive containing the hacks I almost burst into tears. These “hacks” look like this:
**********************************
OPEN ROOT/index.php
**********************************
Find:
if ($bbuserinfo['userid']!=0) {
Add after it:
$storepoints=$bbuserinfo['storep'];
Find:
} else {
$welcometext = "";
Add after it:
$storepoints="0";
Sweet mother of god, what the HELL were you thinking? The whole document is 32kb long, all in the same vein. Why, oh why, didn’t you just make a diff of the sources?
Oh right, probably because you’re one of those obnoxious Windows PHP “programmers” (and I use that term very loosely).
To top it off, the archive contained 12 different hacks, all in the same braindead format.
And we have to use this proprietary bulletin board system *cough*vbulletin*cough*, because “we already paid for it, and because of all those cool hacks”.
This makes me wonder, why is there no easily extendable bulletin board software available? And with “easy”, I mean, through plug-ins, not through messing with the core program.
I guess that’s one more thing on my things-to-code-when-you-have-the-time list…
Posted by alex
on July 31, 2003
Yesterday, I was layed off. To be precise, both me an my coworker got laid off, because the company just could not afford us any longer.
So I spent this morning at the unemployment office, where I was told, that the situation in the job market isn’t looking too good. But I knew that already.
So now it’s time to hunt down any leads I can find.
You don’t happen to need a ((Perl|PHP)-Programmer || Linux Sysadmin ), do you? 
Posted by alex
on April 10, 2003
This morning, my windshield was frozen over with a thick crust of ice.
That’s not something I want to experience in April. I mean, there’s always talk about global warming, and now it’s the beginning of spring, I’m freezing my ass off, and my car looks like it comes fresh out of the icebox.
I mean, spring. Soft breezes, short skirts, flowers blooming, short skirts, birds chirping. Did I mention short skirts? How is that gonna work, if it keeps snowing? Feh!
Posted by alex
on March 25, 2003
After some more playing around with the CSS, and watching the results simultaneously in IE and Mozilla, I think I will take to heart the words of Mark Pilgrim:
IE users can blow me.
Posted by alex
on March 18, 2003
So, Dubya gives Saddam the choice to either leave the country in 48 hours, or he’ll bring the war to him. Come on, why didn’t he just declare war instead of this stupid ultimatum.
Not that I am for a war, but this is getting more and more bizarre. Like Saddam would now say “OK, you’re right, let me just get my toothbrush, and I’ll be on my way. Ta-da.”
First, Bush wants Iraq to be inspected by the UN. Now there are weapons inspectors there. Then the disarmament is going to slow. And now, he wants Saddam to even leave the country. Why the fuck this whole charade in the first place? What’s next? Maybe the next thing will be that he wants Saddam to bring him shrubbery. And when he brings him shrubbery, he will have to cut down the mightiest tree in the forest… with… a herring!
Posted by alex
on February 07, 2003
I think, every computer user, or at least, every one that will ever come into contact with admins, tech support, or just people with a clue, should have to take a madatory course: “Error Reporting 101″
And some might even need “Understanding And Answering Easy Questions 105″ and “Following The Fuckin Instructions 109″.
Maybe they just confuse me with a clairvoyant, but my crystal ball is broken. So I need a bit more info than “It doesn’t work” and “It still doesn’t work”. And if I ask “What did you do?” and “Was there an error?”, that’s not too much to ask, is it? I mean, you were there. You experienced it first hand.
Oh, and for some people “Reading The Clock 110″ might be useful, too. Because, if you were told, that I am in the office between 6:30 am and 3pm, don’t send an email at 3:55pm, asking if I might be able to fix it today. I am good, but time travel is still out of my league.
OK, now it’s back to squeezing some meaning out of this gibberish that is bug reports.
TGIF
Posted by alex
on November 19, 2002
While on the train, homeward bound, I once again had the pleasure to experience todays kids…
I know, that kids like to speak what’s on their mind. I did it, too, when I was little. But what I didn’t do, was repeat it incessantly. Saying once, or maybe twice, when no one took notice, was enough.
But this kid sounded like a broken record:
“Look, someone peed there. Look, someone peed there. Look, someoneone peed there. Look someone peed there.”
And he didn’t even do this because no one was paying attention. And that wasn’t the only time he did it. Almost every sentence uttered came out in this form.
Had this been the only time that I had seen this behaviour, I would not be writing this rant. But unfortunately, this behaviour has been more and more common. So I am starting to wonder: What is fucking these kids up?
Is it the media, which keeps bombarding them with ever-repeating messages, so they think that this is the best form of communication?
Or is it that parents don’t really notice them anymore, unless they start to get really annoying?
Is it fluoride in the water?
Posted by alex
on October 27, 2002
Somehow, my heater once again decided to go out.
And it’s fscking storming outside, exactly the kind of weather, where you want it to be warm and cozy. Ah well, I fired up every knob I could find, and I won’t turn them down until I get some heat up here.
Posted by alex
on October 27, 2002
Why does the Palatino font on Linux suck so bad?
It’s the default in the new MovableType 2.5 stylesheet for serif font, and it looks like ass in Galeon.
Time to hit Google.
Posted by alex
on October 13, 2002
I still can’t believe it. They made a cover version of Iggy Pop’s “Candy”, one of my favourite pieces. This would not be so bad, if the cover wasn’t
- abominably bad
- and done by a band called “Killer Barbies”, together with Bela B. of “Die Ärzte” fame
So instead of Kate Pierson, we hear some chick that can’t even speak proper english, for crying out loud! Well, the only thing I can do to get that out of my head is to put the original “Candy” on repeat for a while, to get the yucky feeling out of my ears…