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It's Like Brain Surgery With Blunt Rocks

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It’s amazing that there are still coders out there who have never heard of diff and patch. I’m helping out at a website, and I was asked to install a few “hacks” into the bulletin board software. After unpacking the archive containing the hacks I almost burst into tears. These “hacks” look like this:

**********************************
OPEN ROOT/index.php
**********************************

Find:

if ($bbuserinfo['userid']!=0) {

Add after it:

$storepoints=$bbuserinfo['storep'];

Find:

} else {
  $welcometext = "";

Add after it:

$storepoints="0";

Sweet mother of god, what the HELL were you thinking? The whole document is 32kb long, all in the same vein. Why, oh why, didn’t you just make a diff of the sources? Oh right, probably because you’re one of those obnoxious Windows PHP “programmers” (and I use that term very loosely). To top it off, the archive contained 12 different hacks, all in the same braindead format. And we have to use this proprietary bulletin board system coughvbulletincough, because “we already paid for it, and because of all those cool hacks”.

This makes me wonder, why is there no easily extendable bulletin board software available? And with “easy”, I mean, through plug-ins, not through messing with the core program. I guess that’s one more thing on my things-to-code-when-you-have-the-time list…

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